Grief

As you probably noticed in my prior post I have been desperately wishing for this grief process to be over. 

I KNOW that everything will be okay, but I have struggled with the fact that if I know this, then why am I still so sad, so emotional, and dare I say it, in dispair? 

I found out this answer today after discussing this with my grief counselor.  (For those of you struggling with ANYTHING, I am a huge advocate of seeking help, namely from a trained counselor, therapist, or physciatrist.  There is no shame in asking for help.)

So the answer is:

Grief will take longer than most people think it will.

Grief will take more energy than a person ever imagined.

I know this is pretty simple and duh statements, but my counselor went on to relate it with this analogy that really made a whole lot of sense:

If you broke your arm and your arm was healing, would you be able to make your arm heal any quicker?  No.  You would have to let it heal naturally and then eventually, go through physical therapy in order to have your arm back to normal conditions. If you didn't your arm may hurt worse or hurt for a longer period of time or never completely heal.  This is the same for grief.  You can't hurry up the process.  You have to allow yourself to heal naturally and go through all of the stages and emotions of grief.  If you don't you will still continue to be broken and prolong the process.  This does not mean that later on the road you will not cry or feel sad because of infertility. Just remember that grieving, healing, and coping are all different.  If you try to quicken the healing process just to "get over it" you are just hurting yourself, so please allow yourselves to feel the pain.  I know it is hard. Just know that I pray for all of you who are hurting.